Shut it down
“Just to confirm, it says you’re looking to pay more money for less channels?”
Listen: Time Goes “Bye” by Jax
This song is pretty on the nose and for that reason I couldn’t not share. But its waltziness is in no way the mood on a Friday.
What I’m actually listening to is this one by Lou Phelps (maybe better known to you as Kaytranada’s brother), which is bringing both a funky bass line and a chorus that raises its eyebrows every time it repeats the title line, “Oh, really?” A sassier way to enter the weekend.
Not with a bang but a whimper
Lol have you heard that Facebook is shutting down their crypto payments wallet? And now that you have, do you care.
From Techcrunch: “the tech giant that’s now known as Meta suggested it has plans to repurpose the digital wallet technology (neé Calibra) for future products, including those related to its eponymous focus on “metaverse” development. Although it’s not clear exactly what Meta might have in mind for repurposing the Novi tech.”
Again, on its face, this doesn’t matter AT ALL. But there is a storyline here, which is: remember when Facebook made a bang and went in on crypto, and the crypto world used that as a validator, and then fast-forward five years and crypto is crashing and Facebook gets to blink its eyes and shrug off a TechCrunch article and pretend none of that ever happened?
Yeah so HOW ABOUT THAT METAVERSE.
Prime time to get outtttt
To continue on things that are not news, I was watching this SNL sketch about the absolute hell that is trying to cancel your cable, where Kieran Culkin calls to turn off his Spectrum account and then:
Agent 1: “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Before we begin, would you like to add a telephone package for $12.99 a month?”
Jump ahead to Agent 2: “For security purposes, can you tell me the 42-digit customer pin number that came on your first bill?”
And then Agent 3: “Just to confirm, it says you’re looking to pay more money for less channels?”
You know it. You’ve been there. What is the actual news here? Amazon is the new Spectrum in the room. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to cancel a Prime account, but when you do, you’ll wade through “multiple pages” of “distracting information” and “unclear button labels” that Amazon uses to make cancelling intentionally difficult. But thanks to a new EU court ruling, Amazon now has to let Europeans opt out of Prime within two clicks. That’s nice news for uhhhh only Europe, which always gets the good internet laws anyway (though this policy actually also applies to the UK, which appears to be succeeding at opting out of things lately). But how helpful is this, really? The thing is, when you cancel, say, Spectrum, you have other options to get more or less the same service. Where do you turn when you cancel Amazon?