Eat Fresh

Or die of Covid, your choice.

Listen: Tree Among Shrubs by Men I Trust

This band has really got a knack for naming. Their Untourable Album, named for a band member’s injury in addition to Covid, is a no-pressure record that they imagined they’d never have to play live. But now, said band member has healed enough— and their tour locations are vaxxed enough— that they’re about to set off on the Untourable Tour, where they’ll have to communicate with their fans directly. How will it go? Buy a ticket and see. In the meantime, a delightful single for you.

Men I trust 👆

For a year and a half, Sweetgreen managed to stay more or less silent when we were cooking lunches at home and internalizing the world’s horrors. But now it’s clear that golden silence was just the sound of their founders bouncing off the walls with pent-up PR, and one of them has finally reached his breaking point. Last week, Jonathan Neman posted how he really feels on LinkedIn, which is: “People die from Covid because they’re fat. Why don’t they eat more salad?”

Ok, what he actually wrote was, “78% of hospitalizations due to COVID are Obese and Overweight people. Is there an underlying problem that perhaps we have not given enough attention to?” Which he followed with, “No vaccine or mask will save us.”

At the risk of nitpicking, vaccines and masks actually are what save us if we aren’t born in a position to be buying $18 salads every day. Praise be to Eater’s Hilary Dixler for reporting this out in a way that’s more satisfying than salad could ever be. (And we love salad here.)

The Sweetgreen headline that could have been the only Sweetgreen headline

Could Neman not have settled for announcing his $25 million acquisition of a salad-robot startup? (That’s $25 million we don’t have to pay minimum-wage workers— huge news.)

Give this guy a prize

Meanwhile, Arbiter of Justice Jeff Bezos has awarded chef José Andrés with a “courage and civility award” for his work on hunger relief during the last slew of world disasters. The prize came with $100 million, which appears to be what Bezos is willing to pay for a documented hug with a good guy. This is how we incentivize philanthropy.

Programming a slow clap into the salad robot real quick.